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6/24/13

Padres Match Sox!

It was a sharp showing for the Padres on Sunday, and pairs were prominent: five different 'Dres delivered doubles, and two double plays (including a strike 'em out, throw 'em out!) kept the run(ning) shoes off the Sox. With an errorless game in the field behind him, Johnny Rip tossed six for the win, the game finished off by three scoreless innings from Kresser and Berlien. On offense, the Padres enjoyed 180 feet, which would require a lot of socks if literal, and was the measure of two 1st inning hits from Lightfoot Lundgren and Metatarsal Medrano. Add a two-bagger each in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th for Coleman, Hargreaves, and Munson and the game was in hand (foot?), pairing the Padres' victories on the year.

Navy Stockings 7, Rubra Impilia 2

Game Notes

Coleman: 2-3, 3 R, 2B, 2 SB

Munson: 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI

Defense: 0 errors in 9 innings (11 assists!)

-DH

4/14/13

Padres Prep For 2013 Season!

After a solid playoff showing in 2012, the Padres look to improve on their season record and make another run!! The full roster is slated to return, including a couple part-timers primed for a full season of action for the Pad Squad!

With league re-alignment, the Padres say farewell to American Division foes the Mavericks, Phoenix, Voyageurs, and White Caps, and say hello to the Dodgers, Knights, Northeast NINE, and Skeeters--let's show those National Divisioners how we do it in the American! There's a couple preseason games in the works, so keep an eye out.

Fuckin' weather...

-DH

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6/24/12

Padres Shut Down Wobblies!

Game Notes

Ripper: CG, W, 7 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K

Lundgren: 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI, 2 BB, 2 SB, R

Kress: First OF assist of the year

Defense: Fifteen straight innings without an error!

-DH

6/18/12

Padres Blank Sox, Move To .500!

Game Notes

Ripplinger: W, 7 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 7 K

Hargreaves: 2-2, 2 R, 2 SB, BB

Berlien: 2-4, 2 RBI, 2 SB

Defense: First errorless game of the year!

-DH

6/11/12

Padres Offense Out Of Dry Dock, Sunk By Nightfall

A lengthy Saturday batting practice paid off for the Navy and Silver, who came out strong against last year’s Champs, the White Caps. A 4-hit, 4-run first inning opened the game, including the 2012 hit debut of “Bassmaster” Berlien, the familiar multi-hit machine. The lead swelled to 6-0 with a 3-hit, 2-out rally started in the 2nd inning by a luring Erik Lundgren, followed by another run in the 3rd with “Wind In His Hair” Hargreaves leading the inning off with his second hit of the day. 7-0...

...but the Waters were stirring, landing two runs in the bottom of 3, plus three more in the 4th, and the score sat at 7-5. Pitcher John “Fish Finger” almost had a flying fish take his head off in the 5th, but flashed his glove to snag the line, before picking a stray Wave off at first base to end the inning. Two more Running Water runs tied the game in the 6th, but in the top of 7 another 2-out rally was started with “Lund” drawing a walk after a great at bat, then stealing his way around to generate a run on an error. But... with the late game start time came an early ending, the home team scoring two in the bottom half, and the game was called after just 7 innings due to darkness.

Padres 8, White Caps 9 (7 innings)

Game Notes

Lundgren: 1-2, 2 R, 2 BB, 4 SB

Berlien: 2-3, R, BB, RBI, SB

Hargreaves: 2-3, R, RBI, SB

The wind: blowing

Turkeys behind left field: gobbling

Let's keep those bats rolling next week against the Red Sox!

-DH

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8/15/11

Padres Notch Swim From Behind Win, Clinch American Division!!

With a Diablos loss and a Padres win, the division could be clinched... the week 11 wrap:

Hosting the Lakers at the familiar confines of Rosetown, the Padre swim team very nearly went under, but finally swam to victory.  Johnny “Breast Stroke” Ripplinger struggled early on, while his battery-mate Mike “My Glove Is Caught In A Fishing Net” Mantooth struggled with his struggles, making for a sloppy first few innings.  Down 4-0 with one out in the 2nd, Rip hung up his suit and set anchor in left field, giving way to rookie Nate “Full Moon Fever” Petty, who promptly stopped the Laker tide and finished off the inning.  Meanwhile, Laker pitcher Mark “Baron” Von Ruden was keeping the Padres offense in dry dock, allowing just 4 hits and one unearned run through 5 innings.  After a solo shot for the Lakeshow in the 5th, plus a run in the top of the 6th, the score sat at 6-1, the Navy in the rear.

But these sailors weren’t about to jump ship!  Finally swabbing the poop deck that was the offense, a couple cannons fired in the bottom of 6: a laser guided RBI double from Captain Berlien, and a depth charged 2-run bomb from Admiral Petty!  Add another run with Colonel Chappy (Sinclair)’s second RBI on the day, and the Navy and Silver were right back in it, 6-5.  An unearned crossed the Lake home in the top of 7, but the Padres weren’t finished wading around the bases.  A 5-run 7th inning washed ashore, capped by the second double of the day from “Hardware Hank” Medrano, this one a 2-out, 2-RBI shot to left!  Now pitching with the first Padre lead of the day, Admiral Petty sailed through the 8th and, despite a few Lakers trolling the base paths in the 9th, closed the book on this engagement.

Naval Fathers 10, Ponders 8

Game Notes

Petty: W, 6.2 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 7 K

Medrano: 2-3, 2 2B, 2 RBI, R, BB, SB

Berlien: 2-4, 2B, 2 R, 2 RBI, SB

Nice job, boys!  And nice job to the Lakers for putting up a heck of a fight--they could make the playoffs yet!  On Wednesday we have a wood bat showdown with the Cubs, and next week we take on the Mavericks, fresh off their victory over the Diablos, under the lights at Dunning...  Go Padres!

-DH

7/12/11

Padre Pride Keeps Game Alive, Victory Out Of Reach

Well, it’s not much fun writing about a loss, so let’s focus on the positive.  After getting trounced the first few innings, the Padres found themselves down 14-0 going into the bottom of the 7th against the Diablos, three outs away from a 10-run rule shortened game.  But what’s this, the boys kept their chins up and rallied ‘round each other to muster some offense!  With 4 runs across, just one more was needed to prevent the game ending…but Darin Giedd decided two runs were better than one, dropping a 2-run homer over the left field fence!  More sloppy defense ultimately prevented the comeback from succeeding (8 unearned runs is tough to overcome, even with Petty looking sharp on the mound for five innings), but the fact that no one in a navy uniform gave up was the victory on this day.

Final Score: Padres 9, Beelzebubs 17

Next week we take on the Knights, who are 16-4 in their last 20 games--let's get some practice in and be ready to win!

-DH

6/27/11

Padres Win Close Knit Game With Sox!

-DH

6/20/11

Padres Outflank Generals!

-DH

6/6/11

Padres Win Opener!

-DH

5/3/11

Padres Preseason Begins!

It's freakin' chilly out here!  But time to start game two versus the Black Sox (who defeated the Pad in this tourney last year, 8-5.)  Josh Ma-"cold"-wald started things hot, striking out the first Sock he faced in a 1-2-3 top of the first.  Into the bottom, and the Padres scored their first run of 2011, with Hargreaves knocking in Prayfrock from third on a RBI single!  Eventually going up 2-0, Mahowald looked to get in cruising mode.  Three scattered hits (one each in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings) put up three runs for the Sox (one each in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings), but ultimately the Sox had trouble finding pairs of anything on offense, and Mahowald didn't allow more than five Sox to bat in any one inning.  Into the bottom of five we go, down 3-2, and freezin' our bats off...

A walk and an error set the table for newcomer Erik Lundgren (not to be confused with Lumbergh, who's gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday) and Erik served up a RBI double to center field scoring fellow newcomer Brandon Chapman!  Tie game.  Now with runners at second and third, a hanging curveball was all Hargreaves needed, knocking in a 'Tooth and a 'Gren on a sharp single to left to take the lead!  Into the 7th, score 5-3, good guys.  A quick popout to Chappie, and things were looking good...but the previously spot-on Mahowald finally walked a Sock, then hit a Sock, to put a pair on base: a moment to sweat, if it were possible to sweat in 28 degree wind chill weather...

The next batter hits a lofting fly ball to shallow left, where rookie Edwin Prayfrock is making his outfield debut.  The ball keeps dropping, dropping, everyone thinking there's no way he can get this one, it's just too far...but the 'Frock was on his horse, galloping, whinnying, making all kinds of weird noises...and sniffed out that lazy fly ball with a diving catch!  A relay to second base and the game was over, a stunned Sock left out to dry on Mr. Ed's spectacular nab...

3/14/11

Padres Prep For 2011 Season!

After joining the TCMABL 28+ division, the Pad is ready for another season of navy and silver baseball camaraderie!  A stellar assortment of classic Padres will be in the mix, including John "Hook, Line, and" Ripplinger, Lucca "Umpa-Lumpa Lubber", "First Mate" Nate (always your best friend at the plate), Dan Har-"She Blows"-greaves, "Fishhead" Giedd, and of course, "Klassic" Kresser (the two-fish finesser).  And what's this, Captain "Chili Con" Carney out of retirement to sail another season with his crew!  Pull up anchor, boys, this ship's seaworthy...

...but first, the 3rd Annual St. Paul Wood Bat Classic, in which the Pad Squad will look to reclaim their title from 2009!  Loosen up those arms and start swinging those bats, we've a tourney comin'...

-DH

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6/30/10

Padres Shut Down Brewery, Open Cooler

Game 1 began like a fine cognac: a smooth 3-run shot off the bat of Dr. Fitch got the party started.  So the Padres had a little buzz going, thinking everything was gonna be alright.  But it wasn't--let that be a lesson about thinking about drinking.  Before noon.  On a Sunday.  Well, during baseball season, anyway...

The Brewdogs put up two in the 1st, followed with three in the 2nd, added a run each in the 3rd and 4th, and somehow fermented a 7.3 ball game!  At least that's what percentage it felt like to the Padres, who thankfully can hold their chin up even at that level.  In the top of 5, the boys shook off their hitting daze and responded with three RBI knocks from Anheuser Archambault, Leine Lucca, and Gösser Giedd.  Down by a run, Duffman Dan pitched a tidy bottom half, then Budweiser Berlien drilled a double shot and eventually scored to tie the game at 7-7 in the 6th.  The Brew Crew threatened with a full case on the bases in their half of the 6th, but Fitch wriggled out of the can once more to keep it tied.  And in the 7th the 'Dres finally drained the keg, scoring a 5-pack to ice the comeback win.

Final Score: Navy and Silver Bullets 12, Milwaukee's Best 7

The after party started with High Life Mahowald tending bar, and he poured some stiff ones for the Biermeisters.  Two hits in each of the first two innings generated zero runs for the 'Rewers, and then Mahowald really got 'em tanked: only 9 beer batters came to the plate the next three innings.  Meanwhile, the Pad were doing what they do.  Two runs came in the 2nd, keystoned by a sac bunt from Red Dog Vogel and sac fly from Rolling Rock Ripplinger.  Put another on the tab in the 3rd, four more in the 4th, plus one in the 5th, and bar time was fast approaching.  A single drop for the Brewers in the 7th, and it was time for Kegstand Kresser's highlight of the day: 1 case of ice cold Pabst in his trunk.

Final Score: Pabstdres 8, Wort Lovers 1

Another sweep!  But, in the words of Winston Wolfe, "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."  Our last three opponents are a combined 5-25; our next three opponents a combined 22-8.  Also, a special welcome back to Li'l Bro Hargreaves, who saw his first action of the 2010 season!

-DH 

6/15/10
PADRES SEND FLAKES FLYING, SWEEP BLIZZARD!!

Entering Week 3 with a .500 record (2-2), the Padres looked to gain a couple in their home opener.  The wrap:

Game 1: Welcome To Our Hizzie, Blizzie

The day opened as it usually does, the Padres spotting a run to the opposition in the first inning, but after that home felt like home.  After answering with one run in the second, The Fighting Fathers blessed their field with four more in the third, including "Saint" Nick's first extra base hit of the year, a 2-run double.  A lone Flake crossed the plate in the fourth on a solo shot, but that simply wrapped a present for "Snowplow" Nate, by making it a three run ball game, allowing him to pick up his second save of the year.

Final Score: Home Team 5, Thawed Snowmen 2

Game Notes

Fitch was the only Padre to strikeout ALL DAY!!

(That's impossible!)

Game 2: Get Out The Shovel, There's a Hit Storm Comin'

Meteorologically speaking, a hit storm is a rare phenomena, often confused with the more common shit storm, a precipitation of errors allowing a team to score.  A hit storm, however, is not dependent on defensive miscues to generate runs, but rather on base hits:

the barometric bat pressure dropped in this one!

It was beginning to look a lot like Xmas... while visions of sugar K's danced in his head, Mahowald was snug as a bug in the dugout watching his boys jump to a 5-run lead, including a gift of his own (a 2 RBI single) before even taking the mound.  Aside from an earnie in the 3rd, Josh was king of the hill, striking out five in 5 innings of work.

But let's talk about offense.  Sweet, sweet offense.  Up 7-0 into the 3rd, three consecutive RBI hits from Rip-cham-greaves made it 12-0.  In the 4th, two more runs on RBI singles from Gied-ca.  Into the 5th...and the thunderclouds rolled in.  Seven hits dumped 9 runs on the Blizzard, including an icy cold blast (sponsored by Pabst, not Coors) from Nick "The Stick" Meisinger, who made it snow four Padre runs on a single towering shot over the left field fence!!  Soon after, the game closed early, and the sweep was complete.

Final Score: The Hit Squad 23, Snowflakes 1

Game Notes

Lucca: 3-3, 3 RBI, R, BB

Hargreaves: 3-4, 2 R, 2B, RBI

Meisinger: Grand Salami

Mahowald: 4 runs

Everyone: Scored a run

Team BA: .515!!

Nice job, boys!  Props to the Blizzard for staying classy all day, and special props to catcher C.J. Hunt--that guy plays like a pro no matter what the score.  Let's keep it rolling with another sweep at home versus the Entourage next week!

-DH

6/8/10
Padres Cast First Spell For W, Turn Into Toads

Week two opened with a quest against the Wizards at Arlington/Arkwright.  The wrap:

Game 1: When It Rains Baserunners, It Pours Runs

The Pad brought out the big wands to start the day, tallying 10 runs in the first inning (but forgetting to save some mana for later in the day.)  The Wizards countered with an unearned in the bottom half, then, for one more inning, the magic continued for the Padres, with the rookie kid Wangler knocking his first base hit for an RBI double, scoring on a follow up double from Jason "Krusher" Kresser.  The 'Zards added one in the 4th, the 'Dres added two in the 5th, and the game concluded a shortened contest.

Final Score: Plenty o' Padres 14, Gizzards 2

Game Notes

Fitch: W, 4 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 3 K, 3 BB, PO

Berlien: 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI, 2 R, SB

Giedd: 2-3, RBI, 2 R

Game 2: The Rain Doesn't Wash Away Errors

Things looked up at the start of game two, the Pad scoring two in the first inning, and Ken Wangler showing his stuff on the mound, allowing just one run on one hit, before leaving to see nine gentlemen in NE after two innings of work.  Into the third the score sat at 2-1, good guys.  Enter Ripplinger, exit Padres defense.  Three unearned runs scored for the Wizards on two costly errors, but hey, we just scored 14 runs, right?  Well, 13 Padres batters later and the score was the same, 4-2, including a magically unproductive second and third with nobody out--stupid rain!  Headed into the 6th.  One more for the Wizzies (at least it was earned--sorry, Johnny!), and finally one back for the Pad, with a Hargreaves single and stolen base, followed by a Giedd RBI single.  But two more errors nearly cost the navy and silver again in the top of 7: thankfully Big John closed the inning with a K before any damage was done.  Then, thanks to two Wizard errors in the bottom, the Padres put the tying run on second...but just as the field was sloppy, so was the overall offense for the 'Dres.

Final Score: The Ugly Padlings 4, Misters Wizard 5

Game Notes

6 errors?!  Get outta here.

Shake it off, boys!  We've got our home opener to think about: bring your A game to the field next week when we take on the Blizzard!

-DH

5/26/10
Padres Perspire Plenteously, Split Season Opener

It was hot.  It was sticky.  It was Emmett Patrick Fitch born on May 17!  It was also the weather for the Padres season opener versus the Twins.  The wrap:

Game 1

The Padres were hot, though it was the Twins sweating in the top of the first, with bases loaded and one out for the Pad.  But a double play kept the 'Dres scoreless, a harbinger of future events.  On defense, an error allowed 2 unearned in the first, though things settled down in the field thereafter.  Unfortunately, the Padres offense struggled; another three innings brought just 10 batters to the plate. Enter the 5th, good guys down 3-0, and more bad luck on offense: one run was scored, but a hit-and-run saw Hidalgo doubled up on a Berlien line drive.  On to the bottom of 5.  Two quick outs, and it looked like Ripper was back on track after a shaky start.  And after Darin dove for an infield bloop that was called fair and rolled foul, the Pad recorded the third out with Ripplinger tossing the ball from foul territory to Hargreaves covering first...or that could have been the case.  [Note to guys on the bench: wait to see how the play finishes before you start yapping about foul balls!]  Two singles, two doubles, and two free passes later and the game was blown open, 8-1.  In the Padres' half of the sixth, yet another threat was killed.  Singles from Fitch and Meisinger set the table, but Twins pitcher Nate Ackman turned his frown upside down with a double play ball, the third on the day against the Pad--whatever happened to "hit it where they ain't"?  Fitch threw a quick bottom of 6, and a 2-out rally scored two runs for the navy and silver in the top of 7 (including the year's first home run off the bat of Archambault), but it was not enough to climb back in the game.

Final Score: Panting Padres 3, "Smiley" and the TC Gang 8

Game Notes

Archambault: 2-3, HR, RBI, R, SB

Fitch: 2-3, 2B, RBI, BB

Game 2

What the hell?  We lose game one and give up 4 runs to start game 2?  What happened?  Let’s pull it together!  Holy balls it's hot out here!

After a fly to right was lost in the brutal late afternoon sun, four earnies came in on Mahowald in the first.  So what do the Padres say?  "Howald" on, we can hit, too!!  RBIs from Berlien, Meisinger, Kresser, and Hargreaves paved the way to an 8-run first inning!  Get those boys some water!  Oh, thanks, Fitch.  Now how about a massage for Ben’s hammy.  No?  Well, at least give him a hug before you go.

With renewed energy, and a 4-run lead, Mahowald got down to business and tossed three straight shutout innings.  On offense, “The Frenchman” knocked in “The Berlien” for one more in the 2nd, and into the 6th the score sat at 10-5, good guys.  But trouble brewed with a lead-off double from the Twins’ bearded one, Nick Anderson, who seemed to have the Padres’ number (five hits on the day).  A few batters later, another double made the score 10-8 and it was time for the closer.  Enter “Eights”, exit Twins.

Final Score: Sweaty Pads 10, Twinks 8

Game Notes

Berlien: 2-4, 2B, RBI, 2 R, SB

Meisinger: 1-1, 2 RBI, 2 HBP, R, SB

Hargreaves: 1-2, 2 RBI, BB, SB

Kresser: 1-2, 2 RBI, HBP, R, SB

Lucca: 1 hamstring

Not a bad start: we’re one game above our record last year at this time!

Enjoy Memorial weekend, and for the love of Pete, stretch those hammies!!

-DH

5/12/10
Padres Split Preseason Opener

In their first outing without those pesky Donks, the navy and silver visited Rich Valley for a double dip with the St. Paul Mudhens.  The wood bat affair was closely contested: no more than 3 runs separated the score at any point, and each game was decided by a single run.  The wrap:

Game 1

Johnny Rip took the hill in game one, facing a team he dated last year, before dumping to be with his first love, the Padres.  We hope he at least used protection during those outings.  Feelings aside, Rip showed no remorse in going right at his on-the-side team, allowing just two earned in 5 innings of work--though he showed no remorse in pitching outside the strike zone either, giving out 11 free passes in those same 5 innings: that's our Johnny!  On offense, a few scattered hits trickled in a run each in the 1st, 2nd, and 4th innings.  Berlien pitched his first inning of relief in the bottom of 6, made scoreless by a nice Meisinger-Hargreaves-Giedd twisty.  But down by a run in the top of 7, the Pad could not take advantage of a Lucca lead-off single and dropped the first of two.

Final Score: Pink Padres 3, Dirtroosters 4

Game Notes

Archambault: 1-2, 2B, R

Fitch: 1-3, 2B

Game 2

Hungry for that first win (and his first Mother's Day Culver's burger), Fitch started game two and looked sharp, facing just four batters in each of his three innings of work.  His teammates gave him some support, scoring one in the 1st, then another in the second on a Hidalgo RBI single, but soon sloppy defense killed the two run lead.  With Archambault on the mound, three Padre errors gave up 5 unearned runs, and the Pad found themselves down 5-2 with two outs and bases loaded in the top of 5.  Enter Vogel for one pitch and a 4-3 putout, and we're headed to the bottom of 5...where nothing happened.  But Vogues kept his team in it: only 4 Mudhens came to the plate in each of the 6th and 7th innings, and three of them struck a pose for the Material Hurl-er.  On to the bottom of 7, Pad down by three... a walk, an error, and a RBI groundout made it 5-4 with two outs and no one on base.  But Meisinger and Hargreaves were patient, Nick drawing a walk to get on base, Dan drawing a walk to get Nick into scoring position.  Next up, "Lick It" Lucca.  The Pad needed just one run to tie, and Ben delivered with a drive deep to the left-center gap...  Nick scores easy, but what's this?  Hidalgo is waving Hargreaves home, all the way from first!!  The relay is coming in, Hargreaves is out of gas, he dives headfirst and is...SAFE!  Padres win!  Padres win!  Lucca hits a walk-off game winner with a 2-out, 2 RBI double in the bottom of the 7th!!  Oh, Mama, thank you for birthing these boys!

Final Score: 'Dres of Drama 6, Mudchicks 5

Game Notes

Lucca: 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI, SB, GW hit

Fitch: 3 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 4 K, 2 BB, HBP, PO

Vogel: W, 2.1 IP, 1 H, 3 K

Ting!  Hear that?  That's the sound of metal!  The Pad will be making a lot of that this Sunday when they take on the Arizona World Series Champion Cardinals in their final preseason game.  Let's treat it like we mean it and be ready for the season opener!

-DH

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7/28/09
With the Padres 1-9 lifetime versus the Snap, the statistical gods did not look kindly upon the Holy Fathers. But a choice Hail Mary (which in baseball means home run) caught the attention of the almighty W distributor...

Game 1: Well Earned Turtle Soup

Landing a tortoise is no easy matter, but pitcher John Rip "Shell" inger knows how to do it. Casting from the dock for 6 innings, Johnny allowed just 3 Snappers to earn home. It didn't hurt that the Pad put up 3 in the bottom of the first, to counter a Snapper run in the top, making it a 3-1 game into the 4th. At that point something snapped in left field, and an unearned crossed for the Biting Reptiles, followed by another in the top of 5 to tie the game. In the bottom of 5, however, something lurked in the weeds behind the right-center fence. It had a leather shell, and looked like a baseball? Oh yeah, Nick Meisinger's 2-run, 2-out dinger! Ah, snap!

One more inning for the Rip saw a turtle bomb bring the Shelled Ones within one, then it was time to boil the broth on a fine southern treat, cooked Snapper, as made by Chef Berlien. An initial ring up, followed by a 4-3 and a 1-3, and snappity snap, Padres don't look back.

Final Score: Padres 5, State Reptiles of New York 4

Game Notes:

Nick Meisinger launched his 6th home run of the year

Ripper looked sharp (W, 6 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 3 K, 1 BB)

Berlien notched his 2nd save of the year

Game 2: Snappers Latch Onto Mound Trouble, Won't Let Go

The Snap. It sounds like a condition you don't want to have, and it's the condition the Padres contracted in game two. With Jim Flintwhistle and Nick Meisinger on ice, Smothers Brother John Ripplinger was paged to make his catching debut as a Padre.  "It's not as easy as it looks," said the pitcher on catching. Who knew? Dan Fitch sure made pitching look easy, at least for three innings, facing just 9 batters in that span. And in those three innings, the Padres posted 6 runs, including four straight RBIs in the first inning from Mahowald, Kresser, Giedd, and Ripplinger. Sure looks good for the Navy and Silver, eh? Into the bottom of four, Pad up 6-0. And then. Oh shit, and then. Five walks, 5 hits, and 9 runs had the Padres saying the same thing as protestors of Jefferson's 1807 Embargo Act:

 

"Oh! this cursed Ograbme!"

You see, ograbme (embargo spelled backwards) was slang for snapping turtle back then. That's right, political humor from 1807--it's easier to write about than this half inning...

After that the 'Dres limped along, not getting a runner past first until the 7th when they scored one more. And that was that, the Padres blew a 6-run lead, and for the third straight week split a 2-game series.

Darn it, how it nicks 'em.

Final Score: Padres 7, Teenage Mutant Ninja Snappers 10

Game Notes

Kresser: 3-4, 2 RBI

Fitch: 2-4, 2B, RBI, 2 R

Mahowald: 2-4, RBI, 2 R

-DH

7/14/09
The Padres and Donkeys Splitting Committee presents:
A TCMABL Production....

Donkey Masher, Padre Masher, Mash off in
Mashfest 1: The Mashing

Starring
Kevin Davis as Kevin "The Really Nice Guy Who You Should Never Throw 3-1 Strikes To"
and
Nick "Someone's Taking Swings at the Strikes Down the Middle and The Ball is Going Bye Bye" Meisinger

Sponsored by: Dan Casazza, the Unofficial Mascot of the San Diego Zoo, Papst Bleu Ribben (not to be confused with the deliciously ice cold beer brought to Padre post-game gatherings and consumed in responsible and delicious quantities, the name of which cannot be used in written form without the express written consent of unsaid company), and Mazda, the official cab of the St. Paul Padres.

Game 1: Attack of the Killer Sea Donkey Masher Guy

The Dott was spot-on rollin' through the Padres lineup in the first, and the day had an unraveling feeling soon after. The Ocean Asses in the home half of 1 brought a not so welcome start to the day: a combination of Sea Donkey bad jokes and a couple of decent hits and walks (ok, who am I kidding, the Donks jumped down the Padres throats like a throat jumping salamander--mainly located in the Mogami Rain Forests of South America, and infamously known for jumping into the throats of their prey and eating their way out, in turn, killing the host--eventually) put Team Fart Head up 6-0.

The 2nd brought life to the Padre bats. But just 2 of 'em. A lead off double by Mahowald preceded a light jog, as Nick Meisinger put jack-o on his back-o, for a 2-run dinger. Mr. Barrett, for the Good Fellas, settled in nicely, as the Padres mounted a comeback from an exhausting mental start to an exhausting scoreboard start--the Padres cut the Donk lead to one with 3 more rallied runs in the 3rd, topped of by a Dirty Diana Double by Mr. Meisinger.

In the bottom of the 4th, the Donks would strike with the fury of a pile of mule dung! Three straight RBI singles for Davinci Code, Luttenhiemer and Estefan yielded 3 more Be-Donk-e-Donk runs. In the 5th, they would tack on 3 more runs, and the Padres felt like they had just been struck by some smooth criminals! We tried our little butts off to score a whole bunch more, but 2 more runs in the 7th is NOT a whole bunch more, which means only one thing: the Padres lost--I'd like to say it was a Thriller, but it was just plain Bad.

Final Score: Donks a Dozen, Padres a Snowman

(12-8)

Game Notes: Davis(SD) 3-4, 2B, 3 RBI, SB, R; Lutzka(SD) 2-4, 2 RBI, 2 R; Berlien(PAD) 2-4, 2 R, SB; Mahowald(PAD) 2-4, 2B, RBI; Meisinger(PAD) 2-4, 2B, HR, R, 4 RBI.
(no pitching stats available as pitching stat machine broke while basking in the sunlight)

Game 2: Attack of the Killer Padre Masher Guy

A 1-2-3-4-5 first inning (yielding 3 outs and no runs) started game 2 as the Saint Peter Father Figures and Minnesota Penal League Donkey Brains squared off once again. But the Padre bats brought in two that I think, according to the book, both came on Nick Meisinger's 2nd HR of the day, a bomb to center that landed on the ferris wheel in Neverland. 2-0 Pretty Young Things. And then there was the 2nd inning....

A one base free, two out situation brought Vanny to the plate, and drew it to a full count...a low and outside strike/ball (I'm not calling this a flat out ball OR a strike, it was a good pitch--it went your way--and I love this game, I respect it.) A walk to load 'em. Kevin Davis, #20 in your playbook, #1 in your list of guys you don't want to pitch to with the bases loaded (I'll give others credit, too, but just sayin') put the ball out of the ballyard for his 1st HR of the year. A Granny...it was big. It was far. Mr. Lutzka, so cordially, decided to point out to me, the catcher, that that was the swing he was looking for all year. Funny, perhaps maybe he didn't realize I got a pretty good mutha#@$%%*n look at it! Nice swing, indeed.

But we get to bat too, and the Padres can hit. I guess we wanted to show them how funky and strong is our fight...it doesn't matter who's wrong or right. You better run, Donkeys, better do what you can. A 4-run rally-matic by the bottom of the ordero was a gift to the early afternoon. Base hits, a couple errors and a 2-RBI un bagger for, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jason Vogel (insert Vogels rap name her, please, Dan) capped off the lead takin'. Mahowald, despite a lack of potassium in his legs, and his catcher missing some (or all) usable salivary glands, settled in and mowed down the Donks, yielding only one more run until handing the rawhide to Mr. 8's in the 6th. Meanwhile, back in Rally Valley, the noteworthy bottom 2 brought some good Spanish lovin', as the 'Dre Squad tacked on 3 mas, highlighted (to some) by back to back Moonwalkers from Nick and Josh, just going around breakin' young girls' hearts....

An extra run in the 5th, and an extra run in the bottom of 6 for the Padres staved off that crazy Donkey rally in the 6th, where they scored 3 more runs to close within one on a Kevino Davisitolo double, on a 3-1 count, with the catcher perfecty happy with throwing a ball nowhere near that invisible little box they call the strike zone. But we all make mistakes. Heck, I sometimes wear diapers just in case I make that one, BIG mistake. We all have our thing, I guess.

Final Score: Padres are nice 11, Donkeys are pretty 9

Game Notes: Davis(SD) 2-4, 2B, HR, 4 RBI, 2 R, JERK; Vanecek(SD) 2-3, 2 R, RBI, SB. Mahowald(PAD) 1-2 HR, RBI, R, and he pitched. Well; Meisinger(PAD) 2-3, 2 R, 3 RBI, 2 HR.

It was a pleasure, Donkeys! Good luck to you, except when you play us. Then I hope your luck sucks. Or should I say, Suckska?
Now Beat It.
-BL


6/16/09
Two padres and a chucklehead walk into a bar....

Padres Joke Their Way to Sweep of Funny Faces
or, alternately, Meow What's Funny, Chuckleheads?

This week's wrap brought to you by Lucca's Laughing Syrum....Game 1 saw the Frolicking Fathers spoof their way to a 6 run lead, capped off by a 2-run single by Juan Ripplefungus. With Dan "Had Me in Stitches" Fitch on the mound, the bottom of one was this one-liner for the Chuckleheads: 4 runs. Not very funny: we had a ballgame. Number 3 in your playbook and number 14 in the league of people I would sleep with instead of paying my dues, Walter Hilariouso wasn't pulling anyone's leg when he one lined a shot to right center for his first TCMABL HR to lead off the 2nd. Pad up, 7-4, and they'd tack on another to give the Dry Humpin' 'Dres an 8-4 lead. Papa settled down and cruised his way through the Merry Muzzles' lineup, giving up only 1 more run, coming in the bottom of the 6th, using a combination of crack me up curves and tickle me change-ups to keep the opposition off balance. The Playful Priests would bring in the 8's to give the punchline:

Padres 10, Chuckleheads 5....Rectum? Darn near killed 'em!

Game Notes: Hidalgo 2-4, HR, 2 RBI, R; Berlien 3-4, 2 2B, 2 R, SB;
D. Hargreaves 1-2, 2 R, BB, RBI, SB.

Game 2 saw the GiggleMugs jump the joke early! A 3-run first on some solid base hittery was a good start for a team desiring it's first win of the year. But those Padre bats, dear Lord, those Padre bats can come alive when the mood's just right--and Smothers Brothers Field is where fly balls turn to fan fodder! Does anyone know why Dan Fitch has big nostrils? Cause he has big fingers! And a big bat! A 2-run dinger in the bottom of 1 was the start of the wise cracking of the Padres bats. Slick Nick put the Pades up by two more, two batters later in the bottom of 1, with a cockpit of a shot to right center, Padres up 4-3. Tickle on two more, and the Padres lead was 6-3 going into the hot 2nd inning. Padres starter Rye Bare was feeding some healthy pitches down the peculiarly shaped strike zone, allowing the Chucks to tie the game in the top of 2, with two shouting shots of their own. The bottom of the 3rd, and the Punful Padres amused themselves some more: base hits by Papa Fitch and Mini Hargreaves put two on for a pinch hit, jesterous jack from John that drove in three to put the Good Guys up for good. Even though still early on in the game, and with the Chuckles hitting the ball well, the Headlessness ran thin on their pitching as the sky was unlighting, forcing the game to be shortened, but not forgotten, and the final consumation of the baseball day read like this:

People Are Dirty Rotten Egg Suckers (PADRES) 14, Chinese Hookahsmokers Use Colorful Kaleidoscopes for Looking at Every Head Eating Anaconda Diaper Shorts (CHUCKLEHEADS) 8

Game Notes: Hidalgo 1-1, 2 R, 2 SB; Berlien 1-3, HR; Fitch 3-3, 2 RBI, 2 R, SB, HR; Ripper 1-1, 3 RBI, HR; Meisinger 2-3, 2 RBI, 2 R, HR - and I had a daydream I was in the "bondage" section of a Victoria's Secret, but it was just Nick flashin' some SEXY leather!

(JOKE, CONT)
....so the chucklehead looks at one of the padres and says, "Father, forgive me, I feel my baseball playing has been a sin. What is my penance?" The padres confer for a moment, then look at the chucklehead and say, "Win the rest of your games, young chucklehead, and you will win your pennants!"

-BL


6/11/09
Padres Take Bite Out of Piranhas, Sail to Seas of .500

Yar, a shanty be sung:
Our wounds we were a lickin',
The Padres: 0-2 stricken.
But with lines a dangling,
the Padres went angling,
and discovered piranha tastes like chicken.

Following a ramshackle showing in the opener versus the Pirates, the Padres took to the water once more in pursuit of victory. After initial confusion as to which river to troll, North Dale Rec proved fertile waters for a sweeping expedition.

Game 1 was a close affair, as no more than three scores separated ships at the close of each inning. "Master Baiter" John Ripplinger played his game of catch and release, netting 9 K's and letting 7 walks go, and the Padres' rods reeled in 7 hits, making the game a 7-4 affair into the 7th. Nate "Fillet" finished the job, cleaning out the bones as fellow shipmate Daniel "Thar" greaves snagged the line of a flopping fish grounder, preventing anything crossing the plate on the Fishes' final cast.

Final Score: Padre Piscators 7, Battered Piranhas 4

Notes: Mahowald "The Man Down" (2-5, RBI, R, SB); Lucca "Landlubber" (1-2, 2 R, 2 BB, 2 SB)

Game 2 saw the Ferocious Fishies take a plunge, as their numbers dwindled after an initial frenzy. One run in the 1st and another in the top of the 3rd knotted the score at 2, but Captain Nick took the helm in the bottom half, navigating a ball over the left-center fence for a 3-run hook setter. After that the Pad didn't look sternward, scoring 2, 1, and 3 runs in the ensuing innings, filling the livewell on 12 hits and 4 doubles. Seaman Apprentice Ryan Barrett (that's a real naval rank, btw) went the nautical distance, which is 6 regular miles, if miles were innings, giving up just one earned in the 1st; the final bobber went under in the bottom of 6 when the score reached the limit, giving the Navy a sea worthy 12-2 victory.

Notes: a nautical mile is longer than a mile, not shorter; Nick "Sea"singer (2-4, HR, 4 RBI, SB); "Fishhead" Giedd (2-3, 2B, R); "Thar She Blows"greaves (2-3, 2B, R, SB)

-DH


6/3/09
Swashbucklers Hijack Cholo Cruise Ship for Spanish Fathers: Go Home with the Booty and Two Games

In their first weekend without Captain Jason Perry, the Buccaneers loaded up their cannons and sent the Padres to Davey Jones' locker, each with an advanced case of scurvy. The peg-leg terrorists of the sea used their pirate voodoo to ensure that the docile papas could not go an inning without a blunder. In a daring effort to save the ship, Josh Mahowald used his dagger to slide down the Pirates main sail and knock First Mate Bernie Rossum to the floor temporarily, giving the 'Dres their first run of the season. Rossum recovered, however, and finished the game with a 9-2 victory over the Padres.

Notes: Doubles by Walter Hidalgo and Nick Meisinger. Ripplinger has 5 K's in 4 innings of work.

The bats woke up a little bit in the second game, managing 8 total hits (3 by Nate Berlien), but the scurvy still caused both mental and physical errors by the Padres. The Pirates were clinging to a 4-3 lead heading into the bottom of the 4th, but a long shot by Mike Wentzel put them out front comfortably by 4 runs. Jason Kresser proved to be the most physically tough of all the Padres, by colliding with teammates twice in left field and getting hit by two pitches and refusing to leave the game! Catcher Ben Lucca, however, showed his weak side by yelping prior to being struck with a 68 mph fastball. He managed to make it down to first without assistance, though.

Final Score: 8-5, Pirates over Padres

Notes: Nate Berlien goes 3-4, 2B, 3 R, SB. Dan Fitch goes 2-3, BB, 2 RBI, SB. Mahowald strikes out 5 in 4 innings, allows 3 earned runs. John Ripplinger and Jason Vogel had a man-to-man talk about feelings and relationships.

-JV


5/18/09
Padres Send Feathers Flying, Announce Roster Moves

NEWSBREAKER: The St. Paul Padres announced today they are terminating the contracts of Dan Fitch, Walter Hidalgo, Jason Kresser, Ben Lucca, and Josh Mahowald. Who needs those guys? All they do is take up space under the salary cap....is what would be written here if there was a salary cap.

Indeed, the navy and silver seem to get the job done regardless of the who's present, even if they need a Donkey to round out their 9. Franlo Park was the site of the most recent showing, a matchup versus the Cardinals (21-1 record in 2008). Nate Berlien started the pitching, and after a couple of defensive miscues found himself surrounded by Cards with one out in the 1st. But not to worry, the 'Dres had his back. A ground ball to second, and the inning was over on a Barrett-Meisinger-Giedd twisty. No runs, nice.

Nate coasted through the next two innings, and we entered the 4th knotted at 0 with a fresh face taking the hill. Ryan Barrett, the promising rookie, showed the Pad what's in store. Allowing just one hit and one walk in three scoreless, the young pitcher found some trouble in the 7th with a couple of base knocks and a walk to load 'em up. But Ryan "Grin And" Barrett was ice. With a full count and no where to put another Birdie, Barrett had no qualms throwing his filthy slider to strike out first one Cardinal, then another, letting in just one run on an intermediate hit by pitch. Into the 8th, Cards by 1.

Barrett helped himself with a lead off single, advanced to second on a wild pitch, followed by a textbook sac bunt by Jason Vogel. Then with the infield in, Li'l Hargreaves bled a single through for the tie. Next up, 88, who had to leave early, but after one last at bat....and Berlien "On Me" Nate delivered, lacing a triple to right center, scoring Joe from first!

Eventually stranding Nate at third, the Padres entered the bottom of 8 up 2-1. But that's all a man named Ripplinger needs. "Big Save" John rolled through two innings, the Pad tacked on 4 more in the 9th, and the swashbuckling skeleton crew of Spainardia (that's what Ben would've wanted me to call it) played their Cards right.

Eight Pads and a Donk 6, Folded Cards 1

Notes....Three Aces lead the way: Berlien (3 IP, 2 H, 3 K, 0 BB, 0 ER), Barrett (W, 4 IP, 3 H, 7 K, 2 BB, 1 ER), Ripplinger (SV, 2 IP, 2 H, 1 K, 0 BB, 0 ER)....at the plate: Berlien (3-5, 3B, RBI), Giedd (2-3, 2 BB, R), Ripplinger (2-5, R)....and congrats to Barrett on his first W as a Padre!!

-DH


5/12/09
Another solid weekend for the Padres!
This wrap brought to you by the man with the mask...

The Noon Game:

Padres Pow, Wow Indians (scrimmagio style)

T-Jake made his first start of the spring vs the Indians. Moving on....Nick Meisinger came into the top of the first, making his spring debut, and only surrendered 1 of the 3 inherited runners. Four innings later, that one run was all the Tribe could gather, as Slick Nick yielded just 3 hits and 3 walks in 4 scoreless, relieved in the 5th by the Bearded One. The Padres offense started coming together; in the 2nd, Elmer Gweedwood tied the game at 1 with an RBI single. The 3rd inning would be all the Pad needed. A four run 3rd, capped by Kresser and Elder Hargreaves RBIs put the Pad up 5-1. John Ripplinger capped off the hitting with an RBI double in the 6th, as the Padres rolled to a spliffy 8-1 victory over the Peace Pipers.

Pied Pipers 8, Peace Pipers 1

Notes....Meisinger: 4 IP, 3 H, 3 BB, 4 K, 0 ER; 1-2, 2 runs. Kresser: 3 IP, 1 H, 1 K, 0 ER. Mahowald: 2-2, SB, 2 runs. Giedd: 2-3, RBI, run. Padres: 3 double plays. All sexy.

The Big Game:

Sea-Pads Use Wobbly Wobblies, Take 1st Annual St. Paul Wood Bat Classic Championship!

John Ripplinger took the mound for the Padres in the Championship game of the 1st Annual St. Paul Wood Bat Classic, and a Classic performance it was. Long story short on the pitching performance, Mr. Ripplinger pitched 6 strong, yielding 3 hits, 3 walks and striking out 9 "Slaves to the Man". In fairness, although the game was a 2-0 affair going into the industrious and laborious 5th inning, the Wobblies weren't going to take this one without a fight. But the 5th was a painful one for the opposition of the Donkey-'Dres. With 2 outs and nobody on, Boom Boom hit a routine groundball that was booted by the first baseman. 1 on. 2 outs. Still. Next up, Jacobson hit a pop up to the shortstop, error number 2. The Donkey-Pads would go on to socialize 11 runs that inning, all with 2 outs. All unearned! That's like working overtime at the brake pad factory for free! The Salt Water Spaniards went on to take the game 14-0, in a much closer that it looked (until the 5th) affair. Highlights are in the notes.

Padres 14, IWW 0

Notes....Johnny Rip: 6 IP, 3 H, 4 BB, 9 K, 0 ER. Darin Giedd: 2-3, 2 RBI, SB, run. Mahowald: 3-4, 3 RBI, run. Berlien: 3-3, 2B, 2 runs. Casazza: 2-3, 2 RBI, run.
Team: 3 double plays, for a grand total of 6 on the day!

Excellent work in the tourney boys! Special thanks to Dan Casazza and Ryan Lutzka of the Sea Donkeys for stepping up and playing with the Padres for the tourney when we needed guys! Your baseball skills and personality were a welcome addition to the squad! Also, special thanks to Paul O'Gara and Bob Janoski of the Cubs for pitching for us early in the tournament. Good luck to our Cub and Donkey friends! Something to look forward to this summer, my first children's book Padre the Donkey Cub Finds His Way Home. It's based on a true story. It's about a kid named Mugsy who loses his pet baby donkey, Boom Boom, at the carnival, and the raucous adventures he encounters on his travels through an urban metropolis, crossing baseball fields and meeting some of the strangest people on the planet in his epic journey trying to find his way back into the arms of his best friend in the whole wide world!

-BL 


4/28/09
Pads Advance To Championship Game!!

With decent April weather, the SeaPads played a solid ball game Saturday to advance to the 1st Annual St. Paul Wood Bat Classic Championship Game. The first inning saw 4 runs, 4 hits, and 4 RBI for the good guys, the kind of start the Padres haven't seen in a while. Offensively, the big sticks were Josh Mahowald (3-3, BB, 3 R) and Jason Kresser (2-4, 3 RBI, 2-2 w/ RISP), while on the mound Dan Fitch saw his first action of the year, tossing 4 innings for the win and, like a left-handed clock, picking off two of the four base runners who reached.

Final Score: SeaPads 7, Li'l Red Machine 2

-DH

 

4/24/09
 The Padres entered the 1st Annual St. Paul Wood Bat Classic last weekend playing three games, finishing 2-1, and advancing to the second round. A quick wrap:

Game 1 vs Wobblies: The Power of Kayak.

On Saturday afternoon the Padres put up two runs off the bat (the first two batters, actually) with RBI machines Fitch and Mahowald driving them in. Jason "I chew it" Vogel proceeded to toss a gem, going 5 innings with 7 K's, 0 walks, and just 1 earned. Sea Padre Dan Casazza ripped a triple (word score) in the third, scoring his second run on a follow up single from Walter Hidalgo. Ripper closed it down for the save, striking out four of the six batters he faced.

Final Score: Sea Pads 3, Wobblies 1

Game 2 vs Piranhas: The Umpire Incident.

On a cold and rainy Sunday morning, nothing warms you up like an umpire who says, "I hope you guys aren't ready to play, because I'm not." Thanks, blue. Despite the man behind the plate not knowing, or caring, what the count was, the Padres had a decent day, scoring 3 in the second and 2 in the third, with 8 different players notching base hits. Cubbies pitchers O'Gara and Janoski kept the game close, with reliever 88 finishing it off for the save. After the game, umpire Grumpy McBastard had this to say: "I hate baseball, baseball counts, baseball players, baseball fields, and baseballs themselves. That's why I umpire baseball."

Final Score: Donkey Pads 5, Amazon River Fish 4

Game 3 vs Red Sox: The Case of the Missing Offense.

Two hits?! That's all we could muster was two hits?! Mahowald dominated (5 IP, 2 H, 8 K, 2 BB, 1 ER) but it mattered not. Oh, and Troy Jacobson and Dan Fitch each had a stolen base. That's right, I just wrote that.

Final Score: Shivering Sea Pads 2, Bled Sox 3
-DH

---

Padres 2008 Champions!

Padres players, families, and fans were treated to some of the finest baseball in the cities the last couple weekends, culminating in a final victory at Midway Stadium versus the American League Giants on Sunday. The Padres finished the regular season on a 3-game winning streak, showed up to the playoffs injured and missing several key players, and proceeded to win 4 straight games in the truest team fashion. When other teams might have folded and called it a year, this team put their pride first, even in the second tier. In every playoff game the Padres trailed early or were tied late, and in every game they rallied 'round each other to bring home victory. Some team averages over those 4 playoff games:

Runs Scored: 10.8
(Season Average: 7.7)

Hits: 14
(Season Average: 10.4)

RBI: 8.3
(Season Average: 6.2)

Batting Average: .400
(Season Average: .345)

Errors: 1.8
(Season Average: 2.3)

Fielding Percentage: .945
(Season Average: .923)

This team is learning how to win, regardless of who is in the lineup. And though it takes a team effort, here were the individual 2008 playoff leaders:

Hits:
Walter Hidalgo 7
Jason Kresser 7

Runs:
Nick Meisinger 6

RBI:
Nick Meisinger 6
Dan Hargreaves 6

Batting Average:
Darin Giedd .500

On Base Percentage:
Walter Hidalgo .556

Slugging Percentage:
Nick Meisinger .733

Stolen Bases:
Dan Hargreaves 5

Innings Pitched:
Walter Hidalgo 11

Wins:
Nate Berlien 2

Strikeouts:
Nate Berlien 12

This off season there will be several updates to the website, including 7 games worth of pictures, many new Padres records, a link to Padres t-shirts and gear, awards, and other points of interest.

To all our fans, the Padres would like to say, thank you!
This season could not have happened without your cheers, jeers, and support.
And to all those little Padres out there, your Daddy did it!

It was one hell of a ride, boys. Savor it.

-DH


8/20/08
Padres Jump Reds Late, Twins Early In Playoffs

White Bear Township, gateway to where the elves make toys, was the site for a sunny Padres/Reds first round of the playoffs (tier 2 on the website, tier 1 in our hearts.)

El Craftarino took the mound for the Padres first thing in the morning, and in classic Padre fashion, spotted the Reds a 2-0 lead before seeing a pitch. But that's just the way we do business in Padreland, where baseball isn't just a game, it's a game that we're usually down 2-0. It's more fun that way, it really is.

Cripes.

A 5-0 deficit after 1 and 1/2 innings ensued, and the fire from the Padres bats exploded into a flaming ball of hot lava fire, as the Fuego del Beisbol Dioses (Fire of the Baseball Gods) saw the Padres singe the Reds deficit to 5-1 with a Rip of My Finger RBI double. The third inning saw the Reds tack on another, finding holes in the sturdy Padre defense. Enter bottom of three. 6-1 Reds. Padres keeping their heads up without 2 of their best hitters, out for the weekend with Dominican Republicitis and Bachelor Party Syndrome. But the 'Dres can hit, and Joe Hargreaves, Whiskey (Dink) Kresser and Julie Hargreaves' First Born child all chipped in with RBI singles to cut the Reds lead to 6-4. A patient Hidalgo found his groove, getting Reds hitters to hit his defenders rather than the holes between them, and the Padres supported their Mound Hound (cause he's a dog, baby!) with another in the 4th on an Elmer Gweedwood RBI single. That was the bottom of the 4th inning. It felt at this point like we had played a doubleheader worth of baseball already.

But we weren't even half way done with this one. Physically.
Emotionally, it hadn't even started.

The 5th saw a run for the Reds followed by a goose-egg from the Padres. RP Nate B. (we don't want other teams to know who this guy is!) came into the 6th and mowed down the Red Machine, but the Machine found 2 more in the top of 7 on 3 base hits. Reds by 4. Bottom of the 7th. And to note, at this point, 4 of the Padres 5 runs were with 2 outs. Wierd, eh? Dan Hargreaves leads off the 7th with a base hit, followed by a Ripper single. A Hidalgo walk followed by a Berlien walk loaded the bases for the Padres and brought a run across. Tying run on 1st, bases loaded. Nobody out. An F-9 gave the Padres one out, but a Joe Hargreaves double brought in 2 more Padres to cut the lead to 1. A sacrifice fly by Gweedwood would tie the game.

We were headed to extras.

Let's just wrap this up. Nate B. pitched the 8th and 9th shutting out the Reds hitters. It was in the bottom of the 9th, with baseball fans of all different flavors looking on, from chaw spitters to teet sucklers, that a Reds throwing error sent Elmer Gweedwood racing home for the winning run with 1 out, as the Navy and Silver sprinted jumpingly to home plate while somewhere Santa Rita, the patron Saint of Impossible Tasks tucked her head deep into a dark crevasse, while the Padres mauled each other at base #4 as the 3 hour and 15 minute marathon of a game concluded with a burst of celebratory joy, the Padres in the lead for the first moment in the history of the day....the only moment that mattered...

Final Score: Padres 10, Reds 9

Game notes: Padres won. It........was........awesome!


Sunday: Game 2. Twins/Padres. 10am.
Holy SMOKES! We spotted the Twins a run in the first! Somebody call the Pioneer Press, Star Tribune, I don't know! Somebody! The most ridiculous thing EVER has just happened! The Padres DO NOT have the lead in the first inning! I repeat!............wait. That's about as regular as my bowels or the sunset. Nevermind.

1-0 Twins up 'til the top of 3. Nate B. drives in Ripper to tie it. Padres then take the lead in the 4th on a D. Hargreaves sac. A Dan Hargreaves sac; think about that, but not for too long, it burns the cerebellum! But this one works, so let's just leave it at that. In the top 5, the Padres push 3 runs on some base hits and what not, mostly what not. Although Giedd did have an RBI single and a SB. It's in the book.

But the Twins were not impressed, as they dumped 3 on the Padres in the bottom of the 5th, helped just a teeny weeny bit on Benito Santiago's "check out how cool I am by throwing a guy out at 3rd from my knees! Oh wait, I didn't throw the guy out, I threw the g#d d@mn, motherf#%king ball into left field and 2 guys scored on it! Sh#t! Eat my sh#t, BALL!"
[Editor's note: Benjamin Lucca caught this inning.]

Anyway.

The top of the 6th ended any doubts as to who was going to be moving on in the winners circle on Saturday, August 23. Hits by Dan Hargreaves, John Ripplinger, Walter Hidalgo, Nate Berlien and a double by Nick Meisinger scored 4 runs for the Padres, and Ripplinger finished off the 6th on the mound, while the 7th brought in El Gasalino Berlien to finish of the previously red-hot Twins.

Final Score: Padres 9, Twins 4

Game Notes: Hidalgo, Berlien and Meisinger all fanned in the first inning to start the game. You don't see that very often. Sorry to anyone who had more success than that stat. Deal with it, and I love you.

-BL 


8/5/08
Padres Down Donkeys For Another Split

It was a stormy evening in the Twin Cities on Sunday, but luckily the Padres were no where near the cities. St. Francis was the location for a double dip with the Donks. The wrap:

Game one sucked.

Final Score: Padres 1, Sea Donkeys 12

 

Game two proved a much better competition. After being 2-hit in game one, the Pad started the offense early with a lead off walk, followed by 4 consecutive hits, including an RBI single from Dan Fitch and 2 RBI double from Nick Meisinger. Walt Hidalgo took the mound for his fifth start on the year, and promptly K'd up speedster Casazza to begin a 1-2-3 first. The 2nd inning brought one run across for the Donks, making it a 3-1 game heading into the 4th. Taking advantage of a throwing error the Pad got in one run, then with the bases juiced a freshly arrived Nate Berlien squeezed in another on a fielder's choice, followed by a double steal to make it a 3-run inning. But the Donkeys didn't stop whinnying. Two walks, two hits, and a wild pitch later, they had their 3 runs back, and we headed to the top of five with the score 6-4. Lil' Bro Hargreaves started things off with a single, followed by Big Papa Fitch stroking a double to score Joe from first. Josh Mahowald added his bat to the mix with a RBI single to bring in Fitch, then Mahowald came in on a line drive single by Big Bro Hargreaves to complete the scoring. Would nine runs be enough, with the way the Donks dink and dunk? Mahowald thought so, and took the mound in the bottom of five to make it so. After one unearned run crossed in the fifth, Josh faced the meat of the lineup (carne de los burros) in the 6th, striking out slugger Justin Blackmer with two men on base to preserve the 9-6 lead. The Padres went quietly in the top of seven, but no matter for Mahowald: after striking out four and stranding four the previous two innings, Josh got the save by, wait for it, putting a Donkin' Donut on the board in the 7th to close out the victory.

 

Final Score: Padres 9, Sea Biscuits 6
-DH

7/28/08
Treasure Thieves and Preachin' Spaniards
Split A Sunday Double Swashbuckler

On another warm and muggy afternoon--check that, morning--the Padres visited New Hope to take on the mighty Pirates. This week's wrap again brought to you by Benny Lipsmacker:

No matter yer nightly quaff, 9 bells is an early start for a rawhide treasure hunt. Lighted Field was the site of the battle between the Padres and Pirates, and time would tell which son of a biscuit eater would fire the first cannon shot. The first game of the double header saw Papa Fitch take the mound against the mighty Pirates, as a hearty zero run first inning was exactly the way the 'Dres desired to start the day. The Padres would strike first with a run in the first, tack on another in the second, two more in the 3rd, all the while the Dred Padre Fitch silenced the Pirate weapons. Enter the top of 4, where the Padres brought out the big guns. Back to back sun seekers medallioned the Padres to a 6-0 lead that would prove plenty for the good fellers. Berlien would tack on another shot into the daylight and Josh Mahowald would punch out a 3-runner to give the Padres a 10-0, shortened contest victory. No landlubbin', lily-livered lassie was takin this victory from the Padres.

Final Score: Padres 10, Pirates 0

Game Notes: Dan Fitch: CG, 6 IP, 2 hits, 0 runs, 3 K's, 2-3 at the plate with 1 HR, RBI, 3 runs; Nate Berlien 3-4, 2 HR's, 2B, 4 runs, 2 RBI; Mahowald 1-3, HR, 3 RBI.

Game 2 saw Padre craftsman Walter Hidalgo take the mound against what had so far been a sleepy Pirate lineup. After the Bucs went up 1-0 in the 3rd inning, the Padres quickly came back in the bottom, scoring 3 unearned runs, 2 coming on Dan Hargreaves 2-run single down the left field line. The Pirates would get one back on an RBI single by Lundberg, who was also on the mound. One more in the 5th would knot up the game, forcing an scallywag of a 7th inning. In the top of 7, the Treasure Thieves would load the bases with nobody out and Josh Mahowald in relief. A strikeout ensued, but a ball in the dirt got away, scoring the go-ahead run for the Pirates. They would go on to score 2 more unearnies in the 7th, and The Lundberg came in to finish off the Padres afternoon. But not without a fight, me hearties.

Final Score: Padres 3, Pirates 6

Game Notes: Hidalgo: 5 IP, 3 runs, 2 K; Dan Hargreaves 1-1, 2 RBI.
That's about it for highlights.

-BL
 

7/15/08
PADRES TAKE ONE FROM SNAPPERS!!

On a blustery Sunday afternoon, the Padres visited Smothers Field in Crystal to take on the Snappers, the only divisional team against whom they were winless lifetime. The wrap:

Game one was a tight contest all the way, each team answering back after giving up runs the previous inning. The Padres started the game off with three straight singles, but could only manage to get one run across on an RBI groundout from Josh Mahowald (who totaled 3 RBI, all on groundouts!) After a lead off walk, Walter Hidalgo threw a scoreless 1st before giving up two runs on two hits in the 2nd. In the top of three the Pad tied it up, only to give the lead back in the bottom of four on a solo home run by the Snappers. Needing a big inning, the Pad delivered. With two on and one out, in his first at bat since injuring his wrist a month earlier, Troy Jacobson drilled the first pitch he saw over the center field fence for a 3-run dinger! Four more singles followed, and the Padres were up 8-3...for the moment. In the bottom of five the Snap got it back, capped by a 2-run double from Ryan "Don't Call Me Ned" Flanders. The sixth went quickly, each side K'ing twice, and it came down to the 7th. Nick Meisinger led off with a great dive to reach first base avoiding the tag, before 3 walks and two timely RBI singles from Darin Giedd and Jason Kresser made it 13-8...but the 'Nappers weren't nappin'. In the bottom of seven 2 walks and 2 singles set the table for a come-from-behind win, but the Turtles couldn't handle former teammate and pitcher Nate Berlien who, guess what, closed the door with a K! The monkey, er, turtle, is finally off the Padres' back!

Final Score: Padres 13, Snappers 11

Game two was pretty much a tale of two innings. Josh Mahowald took the mound and tossed a complete game, and in 5 of 7 innings allowed just three or four batters to reach the plate. Unfortunately, there were those two other innings. The top of the first saw 5 Snappers cross the plate on 6 hits; the top of the fifth saw 5 Snappers cross the plate on 4 hits and two costly errors. Not to say the game was out of scoring range by then, but after 15 hits in game one, game two was a bit of a let down for Padres hitters. Joe Hargreaves looked sharp with a double and a run in the first, then generated 2 more runs in the third with a blast over the right field fence after a great at bat. But other than that, the Pad posted 9 K's and left 8 runners stranded, totaling just 4 runs scattered over three innings. And so despite three double plays and a few web gems on defense, the Padres had to settle for a split.

Final Score: Padres 4, Teenage Mutant Ninja Snappers 10

-DH

"You spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball

and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time."
- Jim Bouton