Twit-er? Nope, everyone knows Twit-er is for twits. We have a Yelp! page instead!: https://www.yelp.com/biz/twin-cities-baseball-wobblies-minneapolis . Feel free to comment on the rudeness of our service and the crust on our hush puppies!

 

"People ask me what I do in the winter when there's no baseball.

I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."

 

                           --Rogers Hornsby

 

9/9: WOBBLY TATTLER EXCLUSIVE: RINGER ROUTS r-ANGELS, SETS UP RINGER vs. SLINGER FINAL! (Ok, it wasn't a rout, but I'm doing a thing here). 

 

ALSO INSIDE, p. B2: Rich kid who paid people to write papers, take exams and SAT's for him got the last spot in the college you were hoping to go to, publicly and in the personal essay he paid someone to write for him attributes his success to his work ethic, scoffs at 'loafers and freeloaders.' 

 

9/8: LATEST FROM THE WOBBLY TATTLER: STRICTLY ON THE QT: Mudslingers defeat Bullies 11-7. Hollyweird is buzzing with Bully bashing feces slinging chimpanzees. WILL THEY BECOME OUR NEW OVERLORDS? The 35+ TCMABL cowers in fear at new e-coli outbreak, also fears of hitherto unknown "Babboon Syphilis" rocket through slums. FLEEE THE CITY!!!!! (the extra e is for emphasis). 

 

9/7/24: WHELP. Since the 28+/35+ Playoffs apparently don't rate enough to bother posting scores or even providing a map to the fields, The Wobblies can only partially offer eyewitness accounts of what's going on. We witnessed the Mudslingers defeat the Knights 17-2 or something like that and have hearsay accounts that say that The Angels and Skeeters also won in similarly convincing fashion, if those accounts are to be believed.

 

We also saw, but are struggling to believe that the Wobblies had a 7-run lead going into the 8th vs. The Bullies and managed to lose the game in the bottom of the 9th on a walk-off single (and the way the last two innings went for the Wobblies, something containing the word "walk" is entirely appropriate to end the game). (The 1-run Bullies' win would be "less convincing fashion", and so we're rooting for the Bullies to trounce their opponents going forward so we can claim 2nd place via run-differential).

 

The truth is, the exurban hellscape that is Maple Grove is a very long drive for city-slickers like the Wobblies and we just ran out of gas. In the immortal words of the swinging-ist of Texas Swing-ers, Hank Thompson: 

 

Tomorrow mornin's Sunday

I'm gonna be feelin' low

So please please bartender

I want a six-pack to go. 

 

The Wobblies proved they've got a good motor under that hood, it may be old and only 4-cylinders, but with a couple of new parts in Aaron Baumgartner and Sam Timmerich and a rebuilt one in John Alm, proper maintenance and keeping up fluid levels like beer, the Wobblies of the future are going to go a very long way. 

 

'Wobblies of the Future' (Artist's rendition)

 

BREAKING: JUSTIN BIEL IS THE 35+ BATTING CHAMPION (.600 AVG), RICK DUBE IS THE 35+ STRIKEOUT CHAMPION (42) and AL "THE LIL' DUTCHBOY" VONDERHARR IS THE 35+ STOLEN BASE CHAMPION (18). 

 

ALSO, THE LAST TIME THE WOBBLIES ONLY WON 3 REGULAR SEASON GAMES WAS 2018. 

 

Among unqualified players, Brian Tochterman was the Wobblies and 35+ batting champion, a feat he has acheived on numerous occasions, but NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!!! except for one year. Enjoy a free preview of an account of the one year he didn't... It is a harrowing, page turning memoir full of twists and turns, guaranteed to keep you guessing, written by none other than the Wobblies manager about his successful 2022 quest to hit 1.000 and put Tochterman in his place. 2023 TCMABL Batting Champion Justin Biel has even read the preview and said privately that he has read the preview!!!! Sure to be published by Amazon, where any jackass can bang his or her flippers on a keyboard and get something published for the effort, for a limited time, please enjoy a memoir of baseball and true love at the corner of Louisiana Ave and the train tracks... 

 

From_Pine_Tar_to_Glitter_New_Title_final.pdf

 

Go ahead, click the link, your life will be transformed!!!

 

 

 

 

 

RIP Mike Davis 1946-2022. Friend, Comrade and The Wobblies' West Coast Talent Scout. A good man has gone on. Go read his books!

 

 

 

 

Twit-er? Nope, everyone knows Twit-er is for twits. We have a Yelp! page instead!: https://www.yelp.com/biz/twin-cities-baseball-wobblies-minneapolis . Feel free to comment on the rudeness of our service and the crust on our hush puppies!

 

 

 

2019: CONGRATULATIONS, SKEETERS,  for winning the championship, but most of all for sending the Dodgers' SS into another apoplectic post-loss fit. The season would have felt unfinished without that. 

 

The Wobbiies would like to congratulate Jon Widerski on being named Championship Game MVP and TCMABL Player of the Week for the Roy Hobbs League. Members of the Skeeters, Dodgers, Knights and Voyageurs certainly distinguished themselves in their small ways, but this was really not a contest in the end. Congratulations!!! 

 

DID YOU KNOW? In 2018, The Wobblies beat every team in the 35+ League en route to their first ever championship, except The Skeeters?

 

In 2019, The Wobblies had a negative run differential against every team in the 35+ except The Skeeters (Mavericks -1, Voyageurs -1, Knights -3, Grays -6, Angels -7, Dodgers -10, Skeeters +3). 

 

2018 TCAMABL CHAMPS.

 

http://www.hometeamsonline.com/teams/default.asp?u=TCWOBBLIES&s=baseball&p=boxscore&sportsHQ=TCWOBBLIES&gameID=3209890

 

After 10 Seasons Leading the League in Aesthetics and Moral Victories, Zero Winning Seasons, Zero Playoff Wins, and Mashing 1HR Every 1,344 PA, The Wobblies Knocked off the #3, #2 and #1 Seeds for their First TCMABL Championship. 

 

REAL AMERICANS ARE SOCIALISTS!!!

 

 

 

 

ABOVE: THE WOBBLIES ARE BESET BY THE SORTS OF PARASITES AND HANGERS ON WHO SUDDENLY WANT A PIECE OF YOU WHEN YOU'RE CHAMPIONS OF A RECREATIONAL BASEBALL LEAGUE. 

 

AFTER PARTY: 

 

 

 

TROPHY TOUR UPDATE: 

 

2/5/19: Matt Hines (Championship Game-tying RBI Double): writes: 

 

"I have the trophy presently. It is just fine and nothing unspeakable has happened to it. I did not take it to Florida with me. I did not take it to the Bonita Springs dog track. I did not lose it to a man named 'Rhett'. Also, Rhett is in perfectly good health and I did not need to use gratuitous violence in my efforts to recover the trophy from him. Because I never lost it. " 

 

 

So you can all rest easy, more updates to follow. 

 

2/19: Larry has the trophy. When asked, he responded: 'What We Do Is Secret!!!!' 

 

3/19: Al and Jim have the trophy, claiming that they've fused fantasy and real baseball. 

 

EDITOR'S NOTE: The Wobblies have easily and routinely led the league in aesthetics from their inception. The Wobblies, it goes without saying, are therefore  a 'Sexual Fantasy Baseball Team' and always have been.

 

 

 

9/9/18: 'IMPOSSIBLE! YOU SAY? HARD TO BELIEVE? PERHAPS OUT OF THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY? 

NAAH.' 

 

WOBBLIES RALLY FROM 9-5 IN 9th, BLOW 3 RUN LEAD IN BOTTOM OF THE 9th TO HONOR THEIR ANCESTORS, RALLY AGAIN TO  DEFEAT GRAYS 14-12, NEXT STOP CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. 

 

''Cause that's life, that's what all the people say

You're riding high in April, you're serioiusly shot down in May

I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm standing underneath a buttery moon

That's all melted off to one side

Parkay.' 

 

 

 

Above: Wobbly IWW/IWA, CNT/FAI flags stare down baseball field and ICE headquarters in distance. 

 

 

9/8/18: WOBBLIES WIN FIRST PLAYOFF GAME EVER, DEFEAT DODGERS 8-7. The Luckless Living Refuse to Become the Luckless Dead, Get Complete Game From Mr. Brian Smith of Anytown USA, Hit Up and Down the Lineup, Demonstrate New Found Exorcism Skills. 

 

 

 

 

8/19/18: THAT CLICKING SOUND YOU HEAR ISN'T A BAD STARTER, IT'S THE WOBBLIES JUST GETTING STARTED, SAB CATS 16, VOYAGEURS 6. 

 

 

 

6/24/18: WOBBLIES REFUSED ENTRY INTO PRIDE FEST, FORCED TO HOST 'SHAME FEST' A FEW MILES AWAY, LOSE TO VOYAGEURS 10-4.

 

 

6/10/18: 'HUMANITY WON'T BE HAPPY UNTIL THE LAST PRIEST IS STRANGLED WITH THE GUTS OF THE LAST LANDLORD.'

 

WOBBLIES DOWN WITH OBP AND CNT (ALSO FAI, AIT and even the POUM), DO THEIR BIT, PERFORM REVOLUTIONARY CORPSE EXHUMATIONS, DEFEAT LONGTIME NEMESIS PADRES FOR THE FIRST TIME. 

 

 

'No Gods, No Masters' Wobblies bring all the unsettled debts of history back into play. 

 

 

MEANWHILE, Subcommandante Gigstad continues to be lost in some SF opium den. 

 

Slave 13, in what we imagine to be his current circumstances. 

 

9/9/17: 'GAVE IT A GOOD RUN BUT WE RUN TOO SLOW, SHERIFF OVERTOOK US DOWN IN JUAREZ, MEXICO' CUBS 19, WOBBLIES 11. 

 

Wobblies believe grasp of The Totality, pesky play will be the slow acting poison that defeats Cubs. Failing that, at least we held up the next game. 

 

 

8/20/17: WE'RE DOWN WITH OBP!

 

WOBBLIES BAT IN ORDER OF ON BASE PERCENTAGE IN INAUGURAL ANDREW CARHART MEMORIAL GAME, SCORE 13 RUNS.

 

PITCHERS COMBINE TO THROW FIRST SHUTOUT IN WOBBLIES HISTORY (INCLUDING 'THE MIDBOE SEASON'), TEAM BEGINS UNZIPPING ZIPPERS, UNSNAPPING SNAPS IN ANTICIPATION OF PLAYOFF STREAK. 

 

 

 

 

5/15/16: AFTER SCORING 19 RUNS IN A LOSS, CRITICS CALL NEW FANGLED 2016 WOBBLIES 

'MORE OFFENSIVE THAN 'MANDINGO''

 

Above: New Slave 37 receives the 'pink jersey' after tying the Wobblies career HR record in his first game.