Ever wonder what is it like?
Like, what is it like to be Emery Hull?
After starting the first two weeks homer less, he just causally decides to hit a homerun in the morning, giving the Sea Donks a 11-10 win over the shorthanded Expos. He also doubled and drove in four runs. You see that wasn’t enough though. Mr. Hull decided the Brewers/ Snappers game needed to end so he can go home and catch “Little Big Lies” on HBO and again causally called his shot from on the on deck circle - then as swing cut through the air the hulking figure deposited the ball over the Donaldson Field fence to cement the ten run rule, Bauhaus wins 10-0 in seven innings. People wonder what it’s like.
Keanu Smith didn’t have to wonder though – he hit his second homerun of the season as the Expos won the Noon game backed by Thomas Troy’s two doubles and Devon Bottger’s complete game four hitter.
Ever wonder what it’s like to be Noah Danner?
Picked up off the free agent list last summer, Danner has become one of the steady aces of the league for a revamped Giants. Stepping on the bump almost guaranteeing double digit strikeouts every start. Just imagine being in his shoes with the weight of a whole team leaning on you every Sunday morning. Danner struck out twelve in seven innings and only allowed two hits in a pitching duel verses Sam Nelson. (Nelson struck out eleven for his own brag) Mike Cisewski homered for the little green hulks as they won 3-0.
The North Stars won the rematch 11-1 led by a homer from James Rush. Adrian Waters doubled twice. Warren Travis picked up the win. The Stars combined for fourteen hits, three doubles and a big fly. Maybe the rest of the Giants staff also wonder what it’s like to be Noah Danner?
Ever wonder what it’s like to be a losing streak?
Two teams, the Legends and the Twins – have yet to get a W and it’s personally kinda shocking. The Legends who were always known for their great defense, solid pitching and timely hitting and have made the playoffs the last couple seasons have a donut next to their name this summer. I’m probably just as mystified as their manager. They got swept this past Sunday as they got Ram Jammed by a total 21-3. Joe Collier went 4-6 with a double and a homerun and four runs batted in. Even more curious is his photo above throwing on the bump – but he didn’t pitch this past Sunday. Someone call Alex Jones and explain this conspiracy. The Rams don’t wonder about a losing streak, they have won four in a row and sit on top of the National Division.
The Twins who were the toast of the second half last season, making the playoffs and even crowing a batting champion in Kress Medina. But Tri-City has been slow out the gate like most Federal League players running down the first base line as they got swept by the Blue Boxes. Wyatt Zulkosky picked up the win going six strong allowing one hit and fanning seven. Conor O’Brien doubled with two hits, two runs and an RBI. Kyle Krob picked up the win in the rematch going four and striking out six. The True Blue sit at 5-3 and in the middle of a heated race in the American.
Ever wonder what it’s like to get your first franchise win?
The Stillwater Saints no longer do as they won 7-6 over the Tigers in the noon cap. Heyden Leekly-Winslow went 3-4 with two runs scored and Kyle Schnichels picked up the complete game win. I don’t really understand the Saints box score because they are missing five runs but I am also distracted by Eva Mendes on my television right now. So whatever. Congratulations to the Saints on their first win.
Ever wonder what it’s like to win a TCMABL Championship?
The Coyotes and Cardinals don’t have to; they have enough shiny rings to make Sean Combs jealous. Matt Grill did damage with his bat instead of his curveball and went 2-4 with two runs drove in. Hans Heggernes and Adam Weber both doubled and Roger Morrison got the win and TJ Wagner shut up the birds in the morning. In the reset, Matt Stengel went the distance for the win – wait Stengel pitches? – holding off the Coyotes just enough to win 5-4. Patrick Anders and Steve Kleppen both with two hits and doubles for the cause.
Ever wonder what’ it’s like to sweep?
The Indians sweep the Ducks and the Bombers swept the Avengers.
Ever wonder what it’s like to go out on Saturday night?
I don’t because I have to type up these boring 28+ highlights so I will keep it brief.
Delano Bats have a feel good win for their buddy with a 12-2 stomp. Ryan Longtin with a three run homerun. The Lake Monsters score three touchdowns verses the Generals, Anthony Gross with four hits and six runs batted in. Monsters totaled twenty-one hits. The Mets continue to slug as Corey Purkat homers again and Juice Cadejuste picks up the win. Tim Shows with four hits and two doubles. The Northeast Nine win 4-1 over the Hounds, Anthony Tallarico with the win and Nate Stark with the save. Ben Heezen, Tony Swierczek and Aaron Hellem with two hits each. Dan Hill and Ryan Sander with two RBI’s each as they help the Grasshoppers win a close one over the Piranhas 7-6. Tim Duffy homered for the fish. Muskies win 12-7, Matt Brekke was only responsible for three of the seven runs. I’m not even going to talk about the Blue Jays and Black Sox game, you can wonder about that one….
In Roy Hobbs action, the Dodgers worshipped Satan and held off the apocalypse by beating the Angels 12-2. Eric Johnson, Mike HInzmann and David McIntosh all with two hits and two runs batted in each, Wes *Robertson with the win with six strikeouts in six and two.
*** hold on Eva Mendes is back on the screen, god damn. Damn you Ryan Gosling. Asshole. ***
Ever wonder what it’s like to his bombs like John Denhartog?
The Voyageurs fall just short losing to the Mavericks 6-5. Denhartog with two hits, including a homerun that went over the HUD housing in left field. Brian Wedewer went 3-4 with a double and a triple. Luke Neibauer also with three hits and a double - Luke also picked up the late win going four and fanning four.
In typical never say die Wobblies fashion they came back to beat the Knights 7-6. Brian Smith homered for the Cats and pitched a complete game. John Alm, Rick Dube and Fancy Jared Roddy all with doubles on the day. Ryan Feyereisn homered for the Knights in the loss.
Here is a 21 Savage remix of the Grays vs Skeeters highlights.
Turn up my headphones for a bit.
How many hits did the Grays get?
A lot.
How many runs did the Grays score?
A lot.
How many guys did the Grays leave on base?
A lot.
How many dandelions were in the outfield?
A lot.
How many snapping turtles cruised the infield?
A lot.
How much respect do we have for the Skeeters?
A lot.
